Off topic, but please help!-rollerderby crisis

[matthew]

Mod-E - The Grim Queefer is great and I agree with Natch, the topic is funny in general.

Trumpet link? Huh?

[modernlover]

It's gotta be The Grim Queefer, costumed exactly the way Natch described...

Matthew, that link........... Lawd, have mercy!

[PixelPixie]

Do you really want to be notoriously known as a queefer? It might prove ruinous to your dating life.

Ask yourself this:

Have you ever queefed? Sure.

But is it a defining characteristic of who you are?!?!?

[JC]

I have to agree with Alison here-
I would probably dump you if I was dating you and I found out your rollerderby name was The Grim Queefer....
I think the object is to sound mean and tough, not nasty!

-But that's just me!

Just think if I was going out for some new football league that of which entailed crazy field-names.

Would you rather me be:

The BoneCrusher
Killing Spree
Big Dick Master

or:

Sammy Stinkynuts
Bobby Shitshimself
The Fart weasel


I think sexual is cute,
Mean and Crazy is the right way to go,
Gross and Nasty? Maybe I'm just a puss....

By the way- does anyone have a time machine so I can go back and not read Matthew's link?

[IHeartConcrete]

I feel like I should remind everyone that some of derby's biggest fans are kids....in fact, kids under 10 get in free and this has helped the attendance levels. I think you would piss off a good portion of those that spent $10-$15 each to go to a family event if you skated as the Grim Queefer. And sure, you get to create a "costume" to some extent, but you still have general team colors. What if you are placed on the Militia (camo and hot pink) or the Mother Truckers (red shirts and denim)? You couldn't wear all black then. I don't think you should pick a name based on potential for a neat outfit. Plus the league has to approve your choice...

I vote for tough/cute names over obnoxious sexual referrences. Plus, if you are out in public and someone asks your name, you have to be able to say it without collapsing into giggles and blushing. (I know you Steph!)

Jo Mama, Anya Back, Zsa Zsa L'Whore, Sophonda Pain are taken (and I didn't check all of them). Sorry, if it sounds the same, it doesn't matter what the spelling is....There is also a Sister Sledgehammer, she may take an issue with Sista Sledge, but you could always ask. But who wants a name so close to someone else's that people confuse the two?

My votes (none of these are taken):
-Hilary Rough
-Skatie Holmes
-Catherine Crunch
-Demo Blonde (it takes the phrase dumb blonde and makes it better!)

[meagen]

Yick - I wouldn't do the Queef ones, sorry Natch.

I vote for:
*The Renovator
*Sistah Sledge
*Miss Informed (I like the Librarian theme but wonder how this name could be made "tougher")
*(The ? / Miss?) Cass Trator (drop the "i" so you're not a traitor)
*Iona Sextoi

Think about which names will allow for the best props/costumes.

[Mr. Natural]

You sure Zsa Zsa La Whore is taken?

When I search, I see a Zsa Zsa Chopsmack, Zsa Zsa LaGore, and Zsa Zsa More Gore-- but no La Whore.

Damn, there is a Sophonda Pain on the list, missed that one.

As far as kids, I guess you gotta think about that. But there seem to be a lot of lewd names out there incorporating body parts, slang names for genitalia and sexual acts, and cheerful violence. I haven't been to a bout, but this is roller derby, not Sesame Street on Ice.

JC, if I had to pick a name for you, it would be "The Fart Whisperer"

[IHeartConcrete]

Line 4640: Zsa Zsa l'Whore #68 & OU 1 --Dockyard Derby Dames

As for your "a bunch of others are doing it, why shouldn't you" perspective, I've spent a year with the Renegades and I think they prefer the reputation of crazy tough girls over overt sexual trashiness. Trashy leagues/teams are a dime a dozen...because they have no skating/playing ability, so all they have left is getting attention with their names. The Renegades are known as fighters and I am sure they want that reputation to remain. That is why people come to Renegade games, because they KNOW there will be fights, jumps, horrible crashes, etc. Of course, I could be wrong....

and no fighting/violence isn't the best subject for children, however I think parents find it easier to deal with telling little johnny that fighting isn't ok at school versus trying to explain queefing.

[meagen]

Saint Violentia
Saint Severa (Saint Severe) (Saint Sever)
Saint Slice
Princess Staph

[IHeartConcrete]

Also Mr. Natural--
Steph is your friend, so why would you want her to have a name that may cause her to be veiwed as being tacky, nasty or lacking in class? Also, she deals with children at work, so then she would have to keep her new roller derby hobby a secret so she doesn't have to answer to pissed off parents....just food for thought.

[arrow]

One vote for "Your Momma" or "Your Mom", that just tells it like it is... Or if you wanted to play off your name you could use "Miss Step on Yee" or "Gwen Step on Yee"

[modernenthusiast]

JC is the only guy who is not gross (other than those who did not post but who agree with the whole thing). Queefing is not a nice thing to do- even though it is grotesque and hysterical. I of course have never had flatulence of any kind....ever.... from any part of my body thank you very much.

I appreciate all of the dialogue- I have been fighting the Grim Queefer and to no avail. Now I have some back up.

I do need a tough name- not a filthy one. There seems to be no consensus though....I am back at square one. When I decide, I will post a picture of me getting my a** kicked with my shirt on that says my name.

Thanks everyone for all of your suggestions- this board has been helpful to me numerous times and I really appreciate it.

[Circa50]

I still like "Joe Mama"

[Fifilynn]

I like Gwen Step-on-yee. That's real cute....and tough. The announcer can make it sound tougher than it looks.

[Mr. Natural]

Also Mr. Natural--
Steph is your friend, so why would you want her to have a name that may cause her to be veiwed as being tacky, nasty or lacking in class? Also, she deals with children at work, so then she would have to keep her new roller derby hobby a secret so she doesn't have to answer to pissed off parents....just food for thought.

I guess because I thought Roller Derby was a celebration of all things tacky, nasty and classless. Most of the online stuff describes a punk rock-ish revival of the sport since its decline in the early seventies. One team's website had Pabst Blue Ribbon as a sponsor for pete's sake. I've looked at numerous team rosters, they're chock full of lewd and nasty names and costumes.

If Modern E was really worried about offending parents, she would probably not do the roller derby thing anyway (she could join a ballet troupe if she wanted something "classy" or refined"). I think she's very good at what she does and probably doesn't feel that her job will be threatened by the Derby or by having a stage name. (Now, Parents might raise an eyebrow if she had her name legally changed to "Zsa Zsa LaWhore"...)

As for your "a bunch of others are doing it, why shouldn't you" perspective, I've spent a year with the Renegades and I think they prefer the reputation of crazy tough girls over overt sexual trashiness. Trashy leagues/teams are a dime a dozen...because they have no skating/playing ability, so all they have left is getting attention with their names. The Renegades are known as fighters and I am sure they want that reputation to remain. That is why people come to Renegade games, because they KNOW there will be fights, jumps, horrible crashes, etc. Of course, I could be wrong....

I can see one of these unfortunate, dime-a-dozen teams at practice...

"Well girls, we're lousy skaters and we've never won a bout -- what should we do now? -- 'cause we sure aren't having any fun..."

A particularly untalented and "trashy" girl in the back raises her hand:

"How about we pick really nasty names? That's the only way we're ever gonna make up for our lack of skill!"

"Great Idea! -- who wants to be Dr. Queefenstein?"

Maybe they just pick the lewd names because they think they're funny and clever and it gives them a break from their boring normal lives. I agree with you though, Modern-E's name should be acceptable to her teammates and jive with the philosophy of the team.

and no fighting/violence isn't the best subject for children, however I think parents find it easier to deal with telling little johnny that fighting isn't ok at school versus trying to explain queefing.

This is true and deadly serious. There have been so many high school queefings in the past 5 years, I'm afraid of what could happen in the future.